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Posts belonging to Category 'Fwods'

Politically Correct – Mulatto – FWOD

Being that the word mulatto is no longer PC my sister has suggested a new term.

Marshmallow – A person of mixed race.
Hmmm, well sis, that seems a little racist too… but it’s probably still better than that arrogant prick Dan Snyder leaving his football team name as the “Redskins”. 
Just a side note, how do you describe a mulatto person these days while being politically correct? Just a person? The thought of not labeling someone by their race sickens me, and besides they are NOT people… they get the stereotypical wealth, and and education of a cracker, and all of the physical strength and melanin of the chocolates, making one delicious, smore-like superhuman race.

Funny Brew – Haikus – The Manly Bubble Bath

For a guy who tends to be a bit of a manly man (meaning I enjoy sports, beards, video games, porn, and the occasional dip into the pink) I have some feminine activities that I enjoy almost too much. 

For example:
  •  Sometimes I take myself,  my laptop, and a TV tray into the bathroom and chill in a bubble bath for like an hour… coming out all pruney and a little light in the testicles.
  • I like yogurt a bit too much… it keeps my sna-wiener quite healthy.
  • If I’m feeling blue a pint of Ben & Jerry’s helps dry my tears. (I looooooooove chocolate)
  • Sometimes I tuck my penis between my legs and pretend to dyke out with my woman.
  • I’ve been caught listening to the likes of Nora Jones, or James Blunt… Gooooodbye my Lover!
  • Flowers are pretty, and smell good too.
Anyway, this Haiku is for the guys that like some girly shit, and are not afraid to admit it!
The Man Bath

  Bathtub here I fall,
Romance myself a little,
Hairy ass and all.
Fwod – Snawiener: A dick with a clit.

Funny Brew – Fwod – Fake Word of Day – RGB

RGB -Are you ready to go on Break? This can be switched up in quite a few ways. Any words beginning with the letters R, G, and B. Every Variation of this means the same thing… Let’s ditch this piece of donkey covered shit.

Examples: 
1) Red, Gock, Blood? 
2) Rag, Gunt, Boob? 
3) Rat, Gay, Butt?
or something much more innocent…
Russia, Guam, Bulgaria?
Yeah, it’s a good way to ditch a person without them knowing.
Bonus FWODS—
Gock - A fatman’s fleshy area between the gut, and the cock,
Gunt – Same thing, except this person should have tits

Wiener Chase Fwod for Pecker… Manana

The ultimate weiner chase ending in a wicked nice hand job, awesome cumshot. I’ve received this indirectly through my fiancee’s mother.
FWOD—-
Manana – (banana but with an M) – A large penis.
Example sentence – Don and John are hung like pimples, but Adam has one helluva Manana. (goddamned Indians get all the glory)
Indian – stupid man’s term for Native American.

Supermans Dead


A quick “tip” on how to be a dick….

Talk shit about all religions with no remorse.

That being said, if you fear God but still fuck around a lot… I have found the answer for you……………………………Blankets! That dude can’t see you touching yourself unless your uncovered and your wiener is pointing towards the heavens.

FWOD:
Gryptonite – being able to stroke it under the covers cause god can’t see.

Messy afterbirth…. is underwear the equivalent if a dick blanket? Cause I jerk off in the car a lot.

Buckin Yum: Term used to describe the deliciousness of either an intangible item, or an item that is not usually considered edible.

Example: Remember when I pinched your dogs nipple so hard it passed out? That was buckin yum dude, buckin yum.

Motherfuckingcocksuckingsonofabitch

MFCSSOB: just a fancy abbreviation for motherfuckingcocksuckingsonofabitch… pronounced miffcsob, this word is especially useful in situations where you wouldn’t want to swear. For example: when you’re beating your child.

Fwod

pleftovers: Similar to leftovers, however this word is only used to describe what is left in the toilet after: (a) Somebody forgets to flush (b) There are sweet ass skid marks on the toilet, or (c) The toilet simply could not handle what was throne (get it?) it’s way.

Fwods – fake word of the day

Fwod: A word that was made up and posted on www.funnybrew.com

-example sentence: I just shot my fwod all over her face.

Earballs: Eyeballs that have recently been dipped in a fresh batch of earwax.

-alternate meaning: an apple that has recently been pooped on.