So the thing that my penis goes in sent me this email forward which is just a bunch of Awkward family photos. Some of ‘em are pretty funny… This one took me a couple seconds to see that it was more than just an ugly family… I may toss a few more of these up over the next couple days for your viewing pleasure. Just don’t get as excited as this guy.

It's kinda like where's Waldo...

Don't bang your bros ho

- pic from funnybullshit.com

My momma always told me if I banged my bro’s wife my dick would fall off in the toilet… and then it would be covered in shit.

Bert Blyleven
Originally uploaded by Hire Jim Essian
Is it Bert’s love for farting that keeps him out of the Hall of Fame? Maybe it’s his knack for f’ing things up… Whatever it is, this dude should still be in the hall. I mean if you let Mantle in, you have to let in Bert.

I wonder what the Food tastes like…. Ass?
…Apparently this place is really called “The Canal”… and they need some sign work.

Are they lookin for “spinners” or “midgets?”

Todays fake word of the day is: Thoob – A Third Boob and Nipple

There is something about this that relaxes me… Weird… yeah… funny… yeah… but for some reason it has a calming effect… maybe it means the best is yet to come, or maybe it’s the solution to solving world hunger… or maybe, this broad is just hot, and has 3 boobs.

PS- no one cares if this is just photoshop magic, it’s still wonderful. Total Recall anyone?

One of my co-workers is a 9th grade English teacher. She had her students write the characteristics of poor essays on the board. She took this picture of what her 5th hour came up with. Looks like she has her work cut out for her. I weep for the future.

I’m almost as sick of this story as I am the never ending Brett Favre saga… but am thoroughly annoyed by the morons who think this idiot should be banned from the NFL for life. There are pro athletes who have done worse than murder some dogs and they are still playing. I mean… do I think Vick should be forced to let a few mutts get their hump on him? …Absofreakinlutely… But Banned from the NFL? That’s a bit overboard. If Donte Stallworth escaped his legal trouble… hardly anyone would care if he played football tomorrow.

PS. I love dogs… except for the ones that meow and poop in your house… that type of dog is annoying.

Televised sports suck , there I said it.

In ancient times sports were all about watching criminals and the mentally handicapped disembowel each other in front of a cheering audience or greasing yourself up and running like fuck around a track, dong flapping in the wind.

Today, millions of people line up to watch fat guys push each other up and down a field for 3 hours , taking breaks every few seconds to make sure everyone’s alright or to see if anyone needs a refreshment.

These annoying degenerates make millions upon millions of dollars to play with various balls and several forms of homoerotic tackling ,where once athletes were payed with enough coins for food and a place to live.

Hockey and other sports with fighting can be fun to watch at times but the horrible injuries are too few and far between. When finally someone does get hurt badly they always go to a commercial in case the family of the injured doesn’t want to see daddy spray blood from his neck into the horrified clapping audience , total boner killer.

I will admit that at times a sports based video game can be damn fun , with the exception of pretty much any football game.
True to real-life , football video games move at the pace slower than the old retarded man who entertains children at my local burger king but with much less of a payoff at the end (He sings happy birthday in a ghastly warbling tone , awesome!).

Being the victim during many a night of Don and Adams’ football obsession , I can make a few guesses as to why people might like football:

1.Being indoctrinated into the horrible shit at a young age.(sup religious people)
2.Being a statistics nerd.(fucking mmo games , I share this pain sometimes ;_;)
3.Some people actually enjoy it for what it is (jesus christ way too many people like this shit for the reason not to be sinister)
4.homo

I’ll just wrap this up by saying I would rather get a paper cut on my dick than watch a football game in full.