Oh really? You’re name is Dick Swett though? My dick would be sweating urine if I heard that name in real life!

2/10/10… Ladies and gentlemen it’s time to take your pants off and salute the turd you just flushed down the toilet. Today is the 12th anniversary  (I’m guessing here… Adrock might be able to verify that). So yeah, today is the time to salute your poop, for all of the laughs it has supplied you with… Yes farts, you count too! Anyway, be glad you can poop, as it gets rid of alot of bacteria that shouldn’t be in your body, and if you couldn’t poop… you’d be dead. If you are a bit constipated, follow the Poopy Advice here.  God Speed fellow poopers.

First of all excuse any spelling errors in the name of this creep; it’s apparently difficult to get clarification on this Slutty Mcslutterson… Anyhow Here’s an excerpt from an interview with a clearly brilliant man, changing society as we know it as he is the first manwhore legally selling dick to women.

Basically this is the first time in the economy of the United States that a male has actually stood up and said, “I want to do this for a living.” And be protected under law to do it. It’s just the same as when Rosa Parks decided to sit at the front instead of the back. She was proclaiming her rights as a disadvantaged, African-American older woman. And I’m doing the same. I’m actually standing up now, and hopefully I can be supported by the male community and be understood as a person. This actually isn’t about selling my body. This is about changing social norms.

…Yeah, later he would compare himself to Gandhi too. Yessirreebob, you attempting to catch a STD for money is exactly the same as Rosa not buying into the asinine thought that she was less of a person because of her skin tone… maybe her sex but not her skin tone… Just kidding ladies.

Oh, and in case you also have a penis, and you’re curious…. Marcus also makes the statement “My sphincter isn’t for sale”… Damn, I guess I’ll have to play catcher again

Ick times infinity Shaq… at least pick a likeable Baldwin.

Holy Christ, today’s youth is so unbelievably dumb…

see more funny facebook stuff!

This maybe part of a new series of pissed off rants, so brace yourselves.

Why are there so many dumb-ass sayings in the English language?  I was thinking about this, and decided “How the tables have turned” is quite fricken retahded.  I mean seriously…  every table I can ever recall sitting at was pretty damn symmetrical, therefore, if you turn the tables your likely sitting in front of the same shit you were before  but, you’re likely a little more pissed off. Secondly, why are you turning multiple tables? WTF? Someone better chill the hell out with the damn spinning tables… all I need is one table; I mean I know I’m fat, but if John Goodman only needs one… what kinda fatso needs two?! Maybe if I had one triangular table, then I may want another just to make the damn thing a rectangular like shape, maybe a rhombus… you know, the whole four corners bit… that’s a desirable table.  Finally, with this whole table… I get that shit on this table maybe reversed IF there was any shit on the table, but stop making sense of things, asshole.

Fuck every table right now.

Maybe this announcer should just focus on hockey, and stay out of the personal lives of these hockey players.

A fart in itself is kind of a dick move, especially if you make like a dog and pull the ol’ fart and run routine… But I managed to top this the other day, and thought the world should know.

I’ve been known to shove my hand in my fiancees fully clothed ass-crack to surprise/annoy her… and well, a couple days ago she thought  she’d return the favor… well I knew what was coming; after all, I taught her everything she knows about being a disgusting dick. Well, when her hand hit… I ripped one of those “is this a shit or fart” farts right on her hand… I almost died of laughter; the timing was wonderful… totally worth a night in the dog house.

Wow, I am the worst artist ever…. I spent like 2 hours trying to make an animation in Anime Studio… to no avail. Well.. I thought imagery would help. I’d like to thank my god awful MS paint skills.

Finally, a Fwod:

Arttard:  An arttard is someone who has developed normally, less their art skills… They stopped devoloping in 1st grade.

I am a total arttard.

Eh, I’ll try not to get too carried away… because I’m relatively unaffected emotionally by this loss as I’ve been a Vikes fan for too many years for this to wound me. Personally I see it as the Vikes had ample opportunity to get a W and move on to the Superbowl, but the offense made one hell of a team effort to give (via turnovers) this one to the Saints.

That said, there were a couple bad calls in OT… the P.I. call was suspect at best, and the first down run by Pierre Thomas was a hell of a spot considering he fumbled… and this went unaccounted for on the spot. Again, I say the Vikes blew it… but if you’re super-bitter, and want to go with it, heres a link to help you justify a “fuck you” to the NFL.

http://ballsdeepsports.com/blog/?p=180 – all about how the sport is fixed.

And finally a haiku:

I cannot believe
That they roped me in again.
The f*cking Vikings.

The haiku is taken from: http://www.dailynorseman.com/ … if sports are you’re thang, than check out this link as SBnation has a ton of great sports blogs.

- This post is for you Johnny.

I laughed… What the fuck is wrong with those kids? They wouldn’t know humor if it gave them a brain Hemorrhage.