FunnyBrew Reviews - Steve Martin is Not Gay- Born Standing Up

I've always thought the less I know about something before diving into it the better I will think it is. That being said I knew way too much about this book and had extremely high expectations going in. I was left with a very flaccid dick as I found out in this book that Steve Martin is not gay. I was definitely expecting more humor as I have read his fictional books and was thinking of Steve naked the whole time. The pictures in this book were not revealing at all. I want to have sex with Steve Martin.... but not Steve Martin the weird looking hippie. I'd give this book the finger.... right up Steve's Ass. It earns 46 out of 72 virgins in heaven... all of which are apparently straight.

Funny Things to do in an Elevator

1. Take farting to the next level, actually poop yourself.
2. Start Itching your genitals vigorously if anybody asks... tell 'em about that hooker.
3. Just spend the entire day in there... drinking heavily.
4. Air guitar... ya friggin' geek... encourage others to sing along while you rock out.
   
5. Read a book aloud, preferably the children's book "Everybody Poops"
   

Something you shouldn't do.

Can somebody tell me what is wrong with this video? For one we can tell she can't handle her booze to well. Another thing is I did not see any other girl in that garage. Just those two things can spell for a "What did I do last night" disease. Come on, sometimes it is just made easy, always remember to at least bring a friend.

Maybe next time Jeffy blacks out while drinking can be the sequel to this.

No Shit

I know that really this should be posted as a comment on Donnyhawk's post, but I wanted to add my own, so fuck all you punk ass bitches.

Fuck every athlete
Fuck every team owner
Fuck every sports columnist

Just because U.S.A. is able spread their workload over a bigger pool of better talent, that doesn't detract from what is really going on. Like DH said, it's up to these grown men to decide to play or not. They want to support their country and help it be proud of itself.
Soldiers do that and they die. A 32 year old ugly ass millionaire with a broken foot hardly compares to a dead 20 year old who's widow has to blow guys for mac n' cheese now that he's not able to support their kids.
Anyone who has the fucking balls to care at all about sports injuries to multimillion dollar athletes who are actually using their superb talent to an end that brings pride instead of raping girls in Utah should be fucking kicked in the crotch until bleeding.
I love basketball. I will still love it after the Olympics. But these players are no different that the guy who picks up my trash or the guy who mops the floor at the local gas station. They are men with jobs. If they actually have enough pride to do their jobs and not leave it to their co-workers, good for them.
In sports there is always a fresh, new, hot, bad ass, whatever and the fact that these guys get to play a game they love, make tons of money, get a FREE college education, and represent their country in a world competition is a great thing. Worrying about whether or not Cuban's ass-penny team will make it to the finals just taints that in a way that makes me ashamed.
Did you ever work sick or hurt?
Did they write a column of 'what's your boss gonna do' about it?

Fuck all these assholes.

To every athlete who cares more about their team than themselves, if it matters or not,
Some of us are proud of you.


P.S. Does anyone really even like Ginobili?

FunnyBrew is annoyed... so listen up fuckers.

Click the article title or here to read what made my nipples grow hairs of fury in just minutes. Where do all of these sports columnists get off deciding when these grown fuckin' men play Basketball? It's not these governments that are "forcing" these NBA players to play in these games. The Players WANT to play. Last I checked the Argentinian government wasn't a bunch of oppressive hate mongers. Whiny Ginobili wanted to friggen play, that's why he was on the court. God forbid this little greasy bastage wanted to play for the love of the game. Anyhow, give it a rest ya sports columnist(s) who have a vadge where your schlong should be.

FunnyBrew Reviews - Lars and the Real Girl

This is a severely underrated movie, I saw this movie several months ago but must say it sits in my memory like a sex doll that is yet to be fucked. Ryan Gosling (the pile of feces from "The Notebook") Really brings the crazy in this one. He plays a delusional guy that falls in love with a sex doll. It's funny, but I must admit to feeling a bit sad at times... even though this butt-nugget was in love with a sex doll...bizzarre and highly recommended 66 out of a possible 72 virgins in heaven.

FunnyBrew Fwod - Chug - Chinese Underage Gymnasts - Haiku included

Chug - one of those underage Chinese gymnasts.

Example sentence: "I Dined at the Y with a chug."

...Not sure why people decided these girls look young... All Chinese people look the same. Whether they are 15 or 60, male or female. Okay I'm only kidding I love All people and the Chinese are no different.... but seriously they all look the same.... but I love 'em... but they look very similar.

Extra food for thought here: I know I'm only about 2.37 inches erect... but... I'm yet to see a well endowed Chinese man.... and I watch a LOT of porn.


Chinese Haiku

Ping pong pow spoon drop
Rockin test tube baby Yao
Damn that dick is small.