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Oh Turkey Day, Oh Turkey Day – Herschel Walker

DuggBlitz — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 04:36:00 +0000

Well I worked today so my Thanksgiving came a bit later than normal… but I still managed to eat enough food to make me look like a pregnant man… which isn’t all that uncommon. The best part of going to turkey day late is I only had to see the family which I don’t mind seeing… which gave me the idea of posting a couple holiday memories.

1.) The Holiday Hop – I used to work a warehouse gig a supervisor… and well as you might have expected I’m not all that normal… I wore a Santa hat one Christmas, as did a gal I worked with. I invented the Holiday Hop… which is where her and I would jump up and down to singing some twisted rendition of a holiday song… This came to a stop when the girl realized all the guys only enjoyed this for the Baywatch similarities. I didn’t even notice they were probably checking out my jubblys too.

2.) Sibling Rivalry - My right wing uncle, and my clinically certified crazy mother were having a nice chat… I really only remember my mom wetting herself… and the cops showing up… We wrote about it in the guestbook of the place we stayed at.

3.) Herschel, Herschel, Herschel - The Vikings and the Lions were in a heated battle (probably for last place in the division) And Herschel Walker rattled of a big run… I was in the living room, watching the game, and strokin’ my six year old cock… right in front of the whole family… My dad was laughing his ass off… Later he had what I’m sure must’ve been a thrilling talk about happiness being a warm gun.

Funny Brew – Fwod – Fake Word of Day – RGB

DuggBlitz — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 03:58:00 +0000

RGB -Are you ready to go on Break? This can be switched up in quite a few ways. Any words beginning with the letters R, G, and B. Every Variation of this means the same thing… Let’s ditch this piece of donkey covered shit.

Examples:

1) Red, Gock, Blood?

2) Rag, Gunt, Boob?

3) Rat, Gay, Butt?

or something much more innocent…

Russia, Guam, Bulgaria?

Yeah, it’s a good way to ditch a person without them knowing.

Bonus FWODS—

Gock - A fatman’s fleshy area between the gut, and the cock,

Gunt – Same thing, except this person should have tits

Funny Brew Haiku – Election Day Haikus

DuggBlitz — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 03:00:00 +0000

Barack Obama,

Mccain’s sore sad faced pooper,

Jerk off on ballots.

Ralph Nader again,

Time to give up old sphincter,

Can’t ruin another.

Florida balloting,

Old folks need to be deceased,

Grandpa can’t read? Last Breath.

Show Me Your Nature Tits!

DuggBlitz — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 15:27:00 +0000

—-Fwod—-

Nature Tits – Nature that is so fuckin’ hot you want to rub your schlong in it… Or leave a massive snail trail on it.

<-----Here's an example picture... I've such a raging nature boner right now...This, this is what God motorboats.

Chocolate covered "fuck yous"

DuggBlitz — Sun, 15 Jun 2008 05:08:00 +0000

Here are the top five ways to shake that unwanted lover before Valentines Day.

5.) Buy a bunch of roses and make a trail of rose petals into your fist.

4.) Have sex with a family member of your unwanted lover… If he or she has no family, have sex with a member of your own family. That should also do the trick.

3.) Use those wonderful three words: “I have AIDS.”

2.) Ask him or her to borrow about $1,000… tell them you want to buy them something nice for Valentines Day, but just don’t have the money right now.

1.) Make lots of poop jokes, if this doesn’t work start using your feces as a prop for the poop jokes.