shiteaterdotcom,
was the most disgusting site,
Up no mo’ thank christ!

Shiteaterdotcom,
you scarred me for my teen life,
RIP gross site.

Sexy Wheelbarrow haiku

Holy-Balls I love that my chubby little Andy is back with our gangly new host of The Tonight Show. I think we need to think of Andy Richter like cowbell… We’ve gotta have more cowbell.

I’m a little sad they’ve decided to change the “In the year 2000″ to the “In the year 3000″… the real future sucks… I’ve been there man.

Conan O’Brien is at least twice as funny with Andy… I can’t tell how pumped I am to catch the first staring contest… you know… when Conan distracts Andy with Jesus takin a leak on a little kid or something. Conando is back, as the best late night show ever. With a little more Richter this definitely be worthy of 72/72 virgins in heaven

—-Tonight Show Haiku—-

Andy I missed you,
Conando’s ’stache max will ride,
King of Late Night Lives.

If you don’t read anything else check out last years V-Day post.

And heres a Haiku for poops and pooperpimples (I’ve got a wicked painful one right now)

Chicks made this event,
Make us perfect for one day,
We fail… but good sex.

For a guy who tends to be a bit of a manly man (meaning I enjoy sports, beards, video games, porn, and the occasional dip into the pink) I have some feminine activities that I enjoy almost too much. 

So today, I’m wearing some old underwear, and I thought “What better to write about than SpongeBob Squarepants boxers?” …. So here it is, in traditional I need to get a post out style 

So I went to the dentist the other day for the first time in like 5-6 years (fucking brilliant, I know) And they shoot me full of Novocaine so I can’t feel ‘em stick their dicks in my mouth… so they do the little cleaning thing etc… I leave and decide with my mouth still numb that I’m going to Subway to get me a sammich. I get home, plop my fatass on the couch and start enjoying my sammich… I get about two-thirds of the way through, and realize that they’re are some little red splotches on my sandwich… I think… well that’s kinda fucked up… what did they do to my teeth?! I finish eating my bloody sandwich, and start touching my lip… well there’s just too much for this to be normal… I get up go look in the mirror… detective Don… on the scene… I guess eating when your mouth is numb isn’t a good idea… as you might gnaw your own face off… my lip was bleeding like a mofo. I guess the moral of the story is don’t chew when numb.

Barack Obama,