A fart in itself is kind of a dick move, especially if you make like a dog and pull the ol’ fart and run routine… But I managed to top this the other day, and thought the world should know. I’ve been known to shove my hand in my fiancees fully clothed ass-crack to surprise/annoy her… and well, a couple days ago she thought she had me, and decided to return the favor… well I knew what was coming … and when her hand hit… I ripped one of those “is this a shit or fart” farts on her hand… I almost died of laughter… totally worth a night in the dog house.

Well, in case you’ve forgotten, I’m an assholiolio… and like to share ways you can be one too. Well, recently after introducing my fiancée as “The thing I hide my boner in” I thought it’d be fun to share some ways to make a great first impression. 5. Using a qualifier during an introduction is always good, [...]

The last two days of my life have been spent prancing around annoying others with commercial jingles that usually have some form of word alterations.  For example: Subway’s “Five, five, five dollar foot long.”   might become  “please, please, please suck on my dingiddydong.” ———-or———- Juicy Fruit’s “Juicy Fruit it get rights to ya… the [...]

Another installment of how to be a dick It’s odd when a chick plays a dick… but it happened to me this week so it, of course, must be made public. I was being my normal, immature, annoying self while making a sandwich… when she questioned me “Why are you such an asshole today?” I replied [...]