Tag Archives: How to be a Dick

How to be a Dick – Fart Games – Fwod

A fart in itself is kind of a dick move, especially if you make like a dog and pull the ol’ fart and run routine… But I managed to top this the other day, and thought the world should know. I’ve been known to shove my hand in my fiancees fully clothed ass-crack to surprise/annoy her… and well, a couple days ago she thought she had me, and decided to return the favor… well I knew what was coming … and when her hand hit… I ripped one of those “is this a shit or fart” farts on her hand… I almost died of laughter… totally worth a night in the dog house.

How to be a Dick – Make a Lasting First Impression

Well, in case you’ve forgotten, I’m an assholiolio… and like to share ways you can be one too. Well, recently after introducing my fiancée as “The thing I hide my boner in” I thought it’d be fun to share some ways to make a great first impression. 5. Using a qualifier during an introduction is always good, [...]

A Good Jingle – A Richard in my Ear – How to be a Richard

The last two days of my life have been spent prancing around annoying others with commercial jingles that usually have some form of word alterations.  For example: Subway’s “Five, five, five dollar foot long.”   might become  “please, please, please suck on my dingiddydong.” ———-or———- Juicy Fruit’s “Juicy Fruit it get rights to ya… the [...]

Funny Brew – How to be a Dick – The First Bite of a Sandwich

Another installment of how to be a dick It’s odd when a chick plays a dick… but it happened to me this week so it, of course, must be made public. I was being my normal, immature, annoying self while making a sandwich… when she questioned me “Why are you such an asshole today?” I replied [...]

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