2/10/10… Ladies and gentlemen it’s time to take your pants off and salute the turd you just flushed down the toilet. Today is the 12th anniversary  (I’m guessing here… Adrock might be able to verify that). So yeah, today is the time to salute your poop, for all of the laughs it has supplied you [...]

10.) Buy ‘em a life insurance policy; wish for the best.9.) Anything but clothes; kids were born naked for a reason.8.) Poop is a good Play-Doh substitute; besides, what Play-Doh occasionally contains perfectly edible corn?7.) A stationary bike; keep their fat-asses thin during the winter.6.) A Roomba; it’s a toy robot…. stupid kid. (Actually it’s [...]

These batteries claim to charge themselves with the addition of any liquid… finally a use for your jars of urine… Do you think these batteries would run on diarrhea?

I think the weddings off… My fiancee is finally figuring out how weird I am. Here’s a bit from our conversation tonight. Miss Manners: “My tummy hurts…” and she makes one of those pathetic chick faces. Me: “Do you want me to poop on it?” – A totally reasonable question / home remedy for a [...]

Yep, that’s right… I’m getting old. Last night I had to fart and I pooped a little. Luckily I was at home, so I casually stood up, grabbed my laptop and walked into the bathroom with no holy war waged on the underoos. Too close for comfort.  – Sharting Haiku – You know deep inside, [...]